I am TOUGH!

Being the youngest of 9 living children (my parents had 11 kids, but two of died at a very young age), everyone around me made sure that I knew I was an OOPS baby. You know I wasn’t planned to be conceived or lived; yes lived!

When I was a kid, my mom told me a story one day. The story starts with my mom not wanting another kid, and when she learned she is pregnant with me, at a ripe age of 42 she wasn’t happy. As a matter of fact, she did EVERYTHING in her power to abort her pregnancy, I mean not everything everything because I am still here, spoiler alert. As she tells the story, she tried jumping off high walls, Carrying heavy stuff, or what else to end the pregnancy… But I was a tough one and cringed to life so hard and didn’t let go…

As a young kid, probably around 6-7, hearing this story made me feel strong that I am invincible. Later, as I started my healing journey this story became somewhat of a double-edged sword. It made me feel realize how deeply I felt unloved and that I am taking up space that wasn’t meant for me. At the same time, it makes me feel empowered. When I was only a fetus I managed to fight for life and win, so now that I have more power I can get through anything and everything. I AM TOUGH